The Perils of Pregnancy - Part II

A continuation of the previous post...second trimester...

4) Hands off the merchandise!
I can't say I wasn't warned about people who would be drawn to my watermelon tummy like moths to a light. I just didn't believe people would actually have the nerve to rub a complete stranger's belly - but they do.

The first person to fondle my stomach was an acquaintance of D's we ran into at a New Year's party. Said fellow was in a wheelchair, so I guess I can't blame him, since my tempting tummy was directly at his eye level. But it really threw me when he reached out with not one, but TWO eager hands and began rubbing my stomach. "Oooh," he said, "it's so big!"

I stood there, giggling nervously, somewhere between shocked and amused, and let the rubbing continue. All I can say is that if you are NOT in a wheelchair, and you attempt to massage my stomach without permission (because if you ask, I'll let you), you may very well be seeing stars rather than the graceful curve of my belly in front of you. All you compulsive tummy-touchers, consider yourself forewarned.

5) The Weepies
I never was much of a crier. In fact, my colleagues have informed me on occasion that "I'm all dead inside" because I don't get teary over emailed chain letters about friendship, kids or puppies they way they do. That stuff makes me gag and roll my eyes simultaneously. At least...it used to, before I got myself up the stump.

Now I weep at just about ANYTHING - Latter Day Saints commercials, Sarah McLaughlan songs, sad bits in books, cloying annecdotes about children or animals or the elderly...you name it, my chin is wobbling over it.

It's tiresome to think that I have absolutely no control over my tear ducts these days. My sudden sogginess amuses D to no end; he's always worried he's the softie in our relationship, but I taught him a few weeks ago that the tables have turned: he came home late without calling, and I burst into a torrent of tears when he walked into the kitchen, so worried was I that he'd been upside down in a ditch on the Shore Road.

Yeah. I know. Pass me the tissues.

6) POP goes the belly button
The other day I sneezed, and happened to glance down just in time to see my belly button pop out under my t-shirt with the force of my breath. Cool! I laughed; it popped again. I coughed; same thing. What a party trick!

When I demonstrated to D, however, he looked freaked out and begged me to stop. Hmmm. I wonder how he'll cope when it pops out permanently?