"Someday's gonna be a busy day..."

Thursday, 27 November 2008

Go 'way, Mr. Marmalade

I went out to the stable the other day to feed my four lovely barn cats (they came with the place), only to find a giant, marmalade-coloured interloper in their midst. I was surprised, to say the least. My four kitties are mild-mannered, clean and friendly. This new kitty was big, dirty and looked like he knew cat-kwon-do.

He stared at me defiantly as I furrowed my brow and tried to figure out where he had come from and what I should do about it. In the end, I shrugged and scooped out the usual supply of Barn Cat kibble. They must know him, I thought, as my kitties meowed and prowled around my legs like Mr. Marmalade was no big deal. Maybe they invited him over for supper.

Well, the moment the kibble hit the plates, Mr. Marmalade barged right in, elbowed Comfort and Black Betty out of the way and began gobbling food like a garborator. The other cats philosphically left him alone and went around to the other plate of food. But Mr. M must have thought they were getting something tastier, because he flew over to THEIR plate, hip-checked them all out of the way and plunged into THEIR food like...well, like Neko.

I swear I could hear The Teenager sigh as she looked up at me with an exasperated expression and trudged back to the first plate again. Obviously, Mr. M. was not a guest my cats had intentionally invited. And his table manners left much to be desired. MY cats are mellow creatures who wait patiently for their food and eat it in delicate little crunchy bites. They love to be petted and stroked, and sometimes they even sit in my lap. Mr. M. looks freaked out if I try to come near him, and when I did manage to try and pet him, he shied away like a kid who doesn't want to be hugged.

So Mr. M. has got to go. He eats too much and doesn't want to make friends. He bullies my foursome of kitties and I don't like it. But herein lies the rub: how do I get rid of the creature? I have tried to shoo him away. He runs two feet and then stops, as if daring me to chase him. I have yelled at him, made weird noises, stomped my feet and threatened to let Neko finish him off - all to no avail. Mr. M. has established himself as the newest, greediest resident of Someday Farm and I have absolutely no idea how to get rid of him humanely.

Suggestions? Anyone?

6 comments:

Sweet Somethings by Lois said...

Hey Kim.
Sounds like you may have a stray on your hands.
I suggest a live trap and the humane society.
Otherwise he will just keep coming back and if he has disease then your kitties will end up with the same thing.
Hope this helps.
Lois
PS you will need to cage your own cats in order to catch him.

Mrs Successful said...

I liked your story Kimber - well told and funny - but not funny for you. Great.. that there's always good advice from others and it looks like Lois has come up trumphs so far. Have a look at this blog where HGF shows a cute little cat video, from YouTube. If you haven't seen it before I'm sure it will appeal to you: Wellied on Life

Jaime said...

What?! Don't you want to start a cat commune Kim? Say that 5 times fast.

The peanut butter balls recipe has been posted for you my dear.

tanzi said...

You CAN'T kick him out!!! Maybe Faustus sent him...
He is obviously a stray who is starving for food. Poor guy/girl. And I love Lois and she is probably right, but I'm gonna defend the Marmalade on this one.
Meow!

Kimber said...

Thanks everyone for the tips (and laughs at my expense)! I may just do the live trap thing, although we don't have a Humane Society up in the Kink...we have a happy hunting ground only! Yikes. Perhaps I'll trap him and see if the vet will take him. Or...maybe I'll save him for Tanzi when she returns from Russia...

Jaime said...

Glad you like the bag Kim!! Be sure to peek inside her pocket for a little something.