"Someday's gonna be a busy day..."

Tuesday, 24 April 2012

Just another night in the barn...

Sunday night, D and I did chores for my brother-in-law. I don't mind spending a night in the barn. But Sunday was just a Jonah night. It went something like this:

6:00 p.m. Walk into office, don sexy black latex gloves. Turn to find squished kitten on floor. Am no longer teary-eyed-horrified-by-dead-kittens; adopt grim-faced-that's-a-pity-let's-get-rid-of-it look, take Mr. Squishie outside to begin peaceful decomposition under pine tree.

6:08 p.m. Inadvertantly scare two cows while husband tries to tie them up in stalls. Oops.

6:10 p.m. Survey assortment of shovels.
D: Are you wearing C's good hat?
Me: Does he have a good hat?
D: He's gonna be wild.
Me: It was in with all the barn clothes! It's got poo stains on it!
D: I'm telling.

6:12 p.m. Begin shovelling crap off the walkway.
D: Is that the shovel we use to push the feed?
Me: I dunno.
D: Well, maybe don't use the shovel we use to push the feed to scrape up shit.
Me: It already has shit on it. Maybe you should label your shovels.

6:13 p.m. Husband flings wet poop at me with aforementioned shovel. Cursing match ensues.

6:18 p.m. Attempt to start milking. Realize cannot bend over in coveralls without risking serious loss to blood circulation. Have coveralls shrunk again???

6:30 p.m. Cow licks entire head. Am covered in clow slobber. Wish had not taken off brother-in-law's hat.

7:15 p.m. Prepare to help D and father-in-law switch cows out of stalls. Attempt to round up rowdy seven-week-old kittens to prevent death by trampling. Kittens do not cooperate. Hit head on barn door trying to wrestle ginger kitten from hiding place.

7:27 p.m. Want desperately to lay down somewhere quiet and cow-free.

7:28 p.m. D walks by. Has squirming ginger kitten in coverall pocket for safekeeping. Immediately forgive earlier manure-slinging incident.


Gingham Skies said...

It amazes me that you can leave me gagging and aaaahhhhing all in one post.

tanzi said...

Awwwwww! Love the last line! And yeah...I'm with Jaime. How did the kitty get squished???!!!
And, um...it's "lie" down.
:) xoxo

Susan Barclay said...

You write the most fun-to-read posts! :)